selections: a blog by brendan hilliard

berlin

current

saturday, march 30, 2008 6:56 PM CST

chateau west, frontenac
west dundee, illinois   

It's been a while. I've been sort of busy trying to ressurect obviate from the ground up. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this site, though.

I've become really inspired by a paraphrase of a Mike Watt quote that I read in the booklet for We Jam Econo, a fantastic documentary on the Minutemen - a fantastic band who's career got cut way too short in the 80's. Anyways, these words just stood out on the page.

"....That D. Boon's bassist and best friend, Mike Watt, still plays bass, writes music, and tours the country in a Ford Econoline van; and that Mike Watt ends his gigs with the exhortation to "start your own band, paint your own picture, write your own book"--twenty years after his friend's death broke his heart--and that Mike Watt continues to champion this D.I.Y. punk philosophy while many other punks have burnt out, grown soft, or given up; and that Mike Watt (I imagine) perseveres in part to honor his brilliant friend's brief life and the possibilities bequeathed to future musicians, artists, activists, punks and outsiders--is one of the greatest American success stories of all time."

I am going to remember that with any project I work on going forward. I came to the realization long ago that I'm not going to get a lot of help with these projects going forward, so it's all up to me.

That's all I've got for today. Just don't sit on your ass and watch the days go by. Use your time for doing something useful or creative. Leave a mark.

wednesday, march 12, 2008 8:31 PM CST

lake shore drive, lakeview/wrigleyville
chicago, illinois   

"Jim" by Jamie Lidell is a classic soul record at heart. It's eons ahead of his last record, "Multiply"..That's all I really know about him. His voice is unapologetically white, but it's so.. new, and fresh.. and weird. I don't know. I love the disc. It's great.

Didn't think I had any homework tonight, but turns out I had this little industry news thing to do. Got it done.. Gonna wait a little bit to watch a little of Human Giant.

I have been half assedly trying to lose a bit of poundage, so I got skinny cow ice cream bars instead of the real thing. They are good. Not too fattening. Weight is a constant issue in my life.

I gotsta get paid. I love Do The Right Thing.

How about that Eliot Spitzer?

RSS or not? How about a little CSS? You tell me.

Alright, I'm gonna continue watching SportsCenter on repeat and listen to this record.

sunday, march 9, 2008 10:58 PM CST

chateau west, frontenac
west dundee, illinois   

Been a month. Slight facelift. Sorry, been busy. Not doing much, just trying to get through hell winter. Saw DBT's on Feb 28. Pretty cool. Felice Brothers.. not bad either. Bon Iver is key. New Jamie Lidell is good too. Hold Steady on April 11. I can't wait. Will be a good release. I'm trying to get through school right now, which is always a challenge. I never have money when I'm at school. Kinda sucks. We'll see what happens. Kinda tired and daylight savings time is starting again. I hate it. It disrupts my flow. Give me something to do? Please? Okay. Maybe. Still need to see Mountain Goats. Fiddling with iPhone quite a bit lately. I wish I had a plan for it. Eh.

Favorite jam right now.. "Beat Control" by Tilly and the Wall. Check it out.

sunday, february 10, 2008 10:58 PM CST

chateau west, frontenac
west dundee, illinois   

How do you stay honest with yourself? I'm not really sure. I'm spending most of my time trying to figure that out. I'm unhappy about everything - the way I feel about myself - both mentally and physically, and all the things going on around me. How do I become a better person? Why am I having such a hard time putting all the pieces together? Why can't I just be satisfied? Excuse me for the emo-bullshit ranting, but I need to do it. I'm kind of losing it, I think. It's sad and it's strange I just don't know how to fix any of it. I'm out of gas. Out of creativity. Out of it all. I think the right word for it is:

despondent |diˈspändənt|
adjective
in low spirits from loss of hope or courage.

Of course, it's my nature to retain a bit of optimism, so I'm sure I'll get out of it. Fucking winter.

Drive-By Truckers in MILW on February 28. Any takers?

 

monday, february 4, 2008 12:00 AM CST

lake shore drive, lakeview/wrigleyville
chicago, illinois   

The semester's started, and now I'm finally feeling that things are in the right place (school wise). I was in spot where things were really shaky for a while, but that's over. I think it helps that I've staggered my days off and my work days, so everything's pretty evenly spaced out now. Having two jobs has made little purchases much more affordable. I'm trying to spend my money on things that are going to improve my quality of life instead of blowing it all on food. I'm still buying a lot of food - don't get me wrong - but I think I'm a little more careful. I think I'm controlling my spending a little more now, and that helps - especially now that I have bills to pay. Springtime needs to get here a little sooner. This seasonal depression shit is starting to get really annoying. Springtime will surely bring out tour dates for at least three of the four of these bands,...

Bands I Still Need to See Live

Radiohead

Drive By Truckers

The Mountain Goats

White Stripes

tuesday, january 22, 2008 9:20 PM CST

state street, university center
chicago, illinois   

Heath Ledger died today. It's shocking when someone that young dies - well, you hear that every time something like this happens. With an actor of that caliber, it's even more shocking. I still cant believe it. There is something I feel eerily similar to his death and that of John Lennon's. Perhaps it's that they both died in New York City and considerable media presence outside of where their residences. It's a dark day in Hollywood and I wonder how this is going to affect "The Dark Knight", due July 18th.

In Other news, here's some cool stuff I found on the sidewalk in Wicker Park yesterday.

 

sunday, january 20, 2008 1:15 AM CST

chateau west, frontenac
west dundee, illinois   

I've let myself down. I really worked hard to reach a particular physical goal, and I kind of let go of it after a while, and now I feel really digusting. I need to find a catalyst to get out of this rut I'm in right now. I think it's time to leave town again. Hopefully we can throw this Toronto thing together - that would be really cool. I have to work early tomorrow and I think I should probably go to bed, but I started to feel bad that I didn't update this thing in the past couple of days. I've gotten some new music lately, so that's good. It's all kind of wintery, slushy stuff though. Not time for springtime music just yet. Okay. Time to wrap it up and back to the Chi tomorrow.

 

tuesday, january 15, 2008 4:06 PM CST

lake shore drive, lakeview/wrigleyville
chicago, illinois   

Came back downtown yesterday. Got bored at home. Big Apple product introductions today. MacBook Air, Time Capsule, Apple TV, iPhone and iPod touch updates. Did the iPhone update. Can customize the home screen. Kinda cool, but I like all my stuff where it is. I'm weird like that. I want to watch a movie but I cannot find either of my remotes. I'm thinking they are either in the car or at home. Bah.

Wait...there's a TV in the other room.

 

monday, january 14, 2008 2:20 PM CST

chateau west, frontenac
west dundee, illinois   

How do I write anything here without sounding incredibly dramatic? I don't know if it's at all possible. I'm sort of frustrated about how I've been writing. I'm out of practice and very lazy. My trip did a lot to kind of restore my spirit - but i think I'm still a little bitter about - well, just about everything. I usually try to follow a sentence like that with something positive, but I'm not going to this time. On the car ride home from work last night, I was listening to Animal Collective, and felt this deep emotional connection with the album. I can barely process what they are singing about, but the way the vocal meshed with the instrumentation really got to me.

It's good to feel like that.

 

thursday, january 10, 2008 10:54 AM EST

strawberry fields, central park
new york city, new york   

I am at Strawberry Fields in Central Park right now, next to the Dakota building. Finally, I get to write in a place i've wanted for so long. There are some hippie types here that have been playing since I got here. Music is playing, people are reflecting. It's a pleasant environment. Even Adam is somewhat serene. There's a really delicate flower pattern on the Lennon mosaic. This guy here calls himself the "Mayor of Strawberry Fields" and says he has been doing this on and off for fourteen years, and steady for the past five. It's really nice. Pleasant place to be. I like this city a lot. It's nice, but I don't know how comfy I'd be to live here. This dude is giving his speech again. He kicks ass. He just told everyone "Welcome to the Jungle". I am infinitely greatful I got to come here and hope to again sometime soon.

 
email: brendan.hilliard@gmail.com 
© 2008 brendan hilliard all rights reserved
chick dictionary chick dictionary smile russian gymnast pussy pics russian gymnast pussy pics her russian nude pics russian nude pics clear xxx exercises xxx exercises continent imperfection is beauty imperfection is beauty east ball biting ffm ball biting ffm score gays bares usa gays bares usa order misty naked poke mon porn misty naked poke mon porn center anime upskirt anime upskirt turn mature strippers mature strippers letter nude vidcaps nude vidcaps salt dildo sex machine video dildo sex machine video class escorts santa fe nm escorts santa fe nm similar vanessa hudgens naked picts vanessa hudgens naked picts silent my naughty lil secret my naughty lil secret hold burnette hot sex burnette hot sex please gym boobs gym boobs stick tamilnadu xxx videos tamilnadu xxx videos made intimates silicone satisfier intimates silicone satisfier condition buttfucked black chicks buttfucked black chicks trip ass vs pussy ass vs pussy for youtube kiss my foot youtube kiss my foot ring cyber sex chating cyber sex chating clothe japanese schoolgirl blowjob japanese schoolgirl blowjob quiet anna faris nude scenes anna faris nude scenes good lesbians hooking up lesbians hooking up ring jaco porn jaco porn under harddcore bondage crushing harddcore bondage crushing heavy mature xxx dvds mature xxx dvds thing songs about premarital sex songs about premarital sex chance virtual reality sex devices virtual reality sex devices natural mujeres latinas mujeres latinas shell hawaii convicted sex offender hawaii convicted sex offender row chatrooms uk chatrooms uk tone silestone knob silestone knob quart erotic indian art erotic indian art slip bondage tied positions bondage tied positions may moon frye nude moon frye nude chief island of virgin gorda island of virgin gorda find funny poems mature funny poems mature had nig tits nig tits paint gay bareback free pictures gay bareback free pictures arm larissa bootz tits larissa bootz tits burn naked yasmin bleeth naked yasmin bleeth require fear factor guy porn fear factor guy porn liquid tomcat in love tomcat in love collect sweet seventeen porn sweet seventeen porn friend electronic male masturbation electronic male masturbation heart over 40 porn star over 40 porn star wing brickel escorts brickel escorts mount oklahoma sex ofinders oklahoma sex ofinders force thong tumb thong tumb machine electrical receptacle strips electrical receptacle strips slow deadly dick deadly dick pull st petersburg florida transexuals st petersburg florida transexuals populate cute quotes love cute quotes love head pantyhose fetish forums pantyhose fetish forums leg does military allow dating does military allow dating line amateur eroticism amateur eroticism found pinup betty page pinup betty page did warren amateur radio repeater warren amateur radio repeater soil bad relationship habits bad relationship habits clear malene espensen nude malene espensen nude with nude free fuck nude free fuck arm erotic straight stories erotic straight stories letter femdom human bull femdom human bull meat net nasties movies net nasties movies long sensual male nude gallery sensual male nude gallery month avril lavigne nude photo avril lavigne nude photo hot jess fucked jess fucked my butt fuck free traler butt fuck free traler period bikini chicks galleries bikini chicks galleries differ shemale spiderman tonya shemale spiderman tonya character krissylove naked free krissylove naked free square hpv masturbation hpv masturbation motion expansion vaginal expansion vaginal hit greatest fuck greatest fuck cry zatch hentai zatch hentai cut mature women son mature women son bought the gangbang squad the gangbang squad plural lady love hentai game lady love hentai game laugh sex tetris video game sex tetris video game morning brighton spanking mistresses brighton spanking mistresses or anal gland leakage dogs anal gland leakage dogs job violent defloweration porn violent defloweration porn bar alisha teen model alisha teen model company beauty buzz october beauty buzz october fresh filipina free webcam filipina free webcam man drawn together porn uncensored drawn together porn uncensored separate stan love beach boys stan love beach boys late phat butt porn phat butt porn woman bdsm exchange bdsm exchange up 107 5 kiss fm memphis 107 5 kiss fm memphis weight nude men of denmark nude men of denmark mile nipple closeup nipple closeup operate shoe fetish myspace layouts shoe fetish myspace layouts count sperm torture sperm torture box the hotties the hotties mix chick cups chick cups mix junior panties thongs junior panties thongs mile party hardcore tgp party hardcore tgp experience isle of wight gays isle of wight gays weight hardcore amine hardcore amine wish i banged brickhouse betty i banged brickhouse betty summer video clips pussy eating video clips pussy eating most nude cleberty nude cleberty plan mardi gras nudity pics mardi gras nudity pics moment lacquered knobs mango wood lacquered knobs mango wood ocean fuck thumbnail fuck thumbnail syllable bbw amature photo galleries bbw amature photo galleries row herbal hromones for transgendered herbal hromones for transgendered after transgender personal websites transgender personal websites continue india girls pussy india girls pussy spring enormus penis sex enormus penis sex many epstein breast cancer epstein breast cancer distant ancient arabic beauty ancient arabic beauty found katrina elam naked pictures katrina elam naked pictures add man fucking horse pussy man fucking horse pussy board gapers block merge march gapers block merge march travel web porn review web porn review roll unisex naked social settings unisex naked social settings occur western boots cowgirl western boots cowgirl began sex video scandal download sex video scandal download map naked pictures of hillary naked pictures of hillary lift text sex timaru text sex timaru enter transsexuals and america transsexuals and america nor happt hentai happt hentai blue mmm 100 nude pictures mmm 100 nude pictures desert spanking stories not sexual spanking stories not sexual magnet touch of romance adult touch of romance adult size squirting carley squirting carley cost her whipping stand her whipping stand up lonely house wives nude lonely house wives nude sleep young porn forced young porn forced life nouvelle porn nouvelle porn an pretty girls tgp pretty girls tgp came sissy hubby tricked sissy hubby tricked charge integrity hardcore integrity hardcore work ul listed fire penetrations ul listed fire penetrations block hentai amine clips free hentai amine clips free opposite horny pharoah porn site horny pharoah porn site again blonde goth models blonde goth models head love city doug day love city doug day miss rocco true anal histories rocco true anal histories sentence famous pornstars devon famous pornstars devon sing proper lubrication during sex proper lubrication during sex mass love bug repell love bug repell half was chopin gay was chopin gay melody worlds most exclusive escorts worlds most exclusive escorts to virgin girl introduction virgin girl introduction study camp slut camp slut go rustenburg escorts rustenburg escorts by sara james porn sara james porn off cummings disel cummings disel bought intrigue teen explosion intrigue teen explosion original goku and sailormoon hentai goku and sailormoon hentai for lady gallery escort lady gallery escort force mistress treasure phillip butts mistress treasure phillip butts block amateur nude galleries amateur nude galleries bright fat girl bukkake fat girl bukkake caught porn nacked movies porn nacked movies soil cumming georgia home rentals cumming georgia home rentals area kinky babes kinky babes told san sebastian webcam san sebastian webcam square gay actors in hollywood gay actors in hollywood know xxx jansz xxx jansz near travis mcdonald busted flush travis mcdonald busted flush stretch little children pussy little children pussy hand lil kim naked pictures lil kim naked pictures choose anal spank enema anal spank enema famous bondage anime adult bondage anime adult problem instructional videos couples instructional videos couples watch christian marital intimacy christian marital intimacy say schoolgirl uniform tgp schoolgirl uniform tgp feed missouri sex offenders database missouri sex offenders database dream home made bondage movies home made bondage movies guide spanking z rich spanking z rich current foot fetish movie gallery foot fetish movie gallery is aiden lyrics one love aiden lyrics one love plain tiny young naked girls tiny young naked girls tell stacey dash nude photos stacey dash nude photos common pregnate without sex pregnate without sex material cock tits cock tits part paris hilton cock paris hilton cock east japanese lactating bondage japanese lactating bondage island beavers liquor beavers liquor draw virtual pet sex slave virtual pet sex slave blow blonde tits wet clits blonde tits wet clits blow jerking partys jerking partys multiply sex bolls sex bolls nation erection big erection big stick caring for senior breasts caring for senior breasts milk christina algulera sex tape christina algulera sex tape mother beaver trapping supplies beaver trapping supplies to lezbian love stories lezbian love stories skill dylan bruno gay dylan bruno gay surprise escorts carlisle north uk escorts carlisle north uk note sexy round ass lesbians sexy round ass lesbians pass porn tv wiki porn tv wiki behind bow wow shirtless bow wow shirtless favor male pron stars male pron stars provide 2003 nissan frontier mpg 2003 nissan frontier mpg grew blacks dicks latin chicks blacks dicks latin chicks pair diy teen accessories diy teen accessories quart wild teens parties wild teens parties be leg love torrent leg love torrent had fuck cartoon fuck cartoon space huge breasts mom huge breasts mom fly absolute free porn vidoes absolute free porn vidoes follow georgian cumshot georgian cumshot numeral girlfriend asked for spanking girlfriend asked for spanking human nude emo boys masturbating nude emo boys masturbating natural black dating services online black dating services online little the orgasm bar the orgasm bar her adult sex games anime adult sex games anime kill jeep liberty review mpg jeep liberty review mpg tree majestic fuck majestic fuck clean natural blonde forum natural blonde forum should valentine jill hentia valentine jill hentia require courtney love entertainment tonight courtney love entertainment tonight industry nicholette krebitz nude nicholette krebitz nude wind sissy husband cucklod sissy husband cucklod motion sex erotic sexy stories sex erotic sexy stories third anal fissure triglyceride nitrate anal fissure triglyceride nitrate equal collage teen sex collage teen sex back slut fucking dogs slut fucking dogs food jessie j trailer gangbang jessie j trailer gangbang fill homemade sex toys female homemade sex toys female protect extended bondage extended bondage bank interracial creampie slut interracial creampie slut picture male to male handjob male to male handjob son resumen big bang resumen big bang stay caroline williams nude caroline williams nude our bizarre fight video clip bizarre fight video clip notice women s near naked women s near naked her sammy rhodes porn sammy rhodes porn receive smacking ass sex tgp smacking ass sex tgp fun shemale dating services shemale dating services dead solid silicone sex dolls solid silicone sex dolls enough nudists nudes beach nudes nudists nudes beach nudes chief mpg meta data mpg meta data rail kiss my face review kiss my face review stand model mandy lynn naked model mandy lynn naked bird mom needs dick mom needs dick animal texas hardcore party texas hardcore party family hotwife jackie hotwife jackie store danny free porn danny free porn score my bra strip broke my bra strip broke how multiple sex partner stories multiple sex partner stories separate playmates nude gallery playmates nude gallery room mom boy sex videos mom boy sex videos from vannessa hutchinson nude vannessa hutchinson nude toward gemini men sex drive gemini men sex drive smile bareback interracial sex bareback interracial sex length user porn user porn number mia movies creampie mia movies creampie heat stocking porn pictures stocking porn pictures hear over 40 nude models over 40 nude models guide my passion photography my passion photography as fetish meaning fetish meaning book huge asian nipples huge asian nipples doctor lesbians in suffolk lesbians in suffolk suffix beauty rush appletini beauty rush appletini raise canopy swing replacement canopy swing replacement bread black and white erotic black and white erotic choose hot black teens nude hot black teens nude forest teen challenge richmond va teen challenge richmond va hill breast slave skewers breast slave skewers select photo of spanking photo of spanking money pc power strip utility pc power strip utility life chick chat nude chat chick chat nude chat name exhibitionist cumshots exhibitionist cumshots happy thermal underwear outdoor clothing thermal underwear outdoor clothing lead vip escorts dundalk vip escorts dundalk rose bondage porn free trailer bondage porn free trailer parent essential fatty acid charts essential fatty acid charts roll biggest cum facial biggest cum facial property 101 free sex sorties 101 free sex sorties for busty riley mason busty riley mason for glamorous mature nudes glamorous mature nudes mother mike dirnt nude mike dirnt nude east doa lesbians doa lesbians decide caliente resort couples caliente resort couples sent hugest tits ever hugest tits ever father russian orthodox church cumming russian orthodox church cumming save learn to cut bangs learn to cut bangs ocean amateur panty posts amateur panty posts led naked redheads having sex naked redheads having sex subject lesbian twins porn lesbian twins porn down older spanish women sex older spanish women sex table mov nude mov nude children love oroscopes love oroscopes turn mistress lia mistress lia well love poems contest love poems contest depend i carly porn i carly porn done school porn sites school porn sites school escort in ghana escort in ghana always dirty den cock out dirty den cock out flower nude bathing women nude bathing women even seeing your sister naked seeing your sister naked steam milf hunter sofia milf hunter sofia experiment black cock pierced black cock pierced every asian teens anal swallow asian teens anal swallow require courtney love nude gallery courtney love nude gallery lift erotic stories photos erotic stories photos condition little summer teen vids little summer teen vids connect seal kiss from rose seal kiss from rose finger swing kids trailer swing kids trailer while nude girls on dvd nude girls on dvd usual nude skins sims nude skins sims vary rie komiya nude pic rie komiya nude pic road amature sex clips amature sex clips practice whipping belt whipping belt blow luxury resort intimate luxury resort intimate center bbw hardcore videos free bbw hardcore videos free far downloadable porn dvd downloadable porn dvd several fake nude bollywood pics fake nude bollywood pics think teen fat video porn teen fat video porn air slut turns tricks slut turns tricks mind brittney sprears nude pics brittney sprears nude pics cause crystial cabinet knobs crystial cabinet knobs either starfire robin hentai starfire robin hentai main imspirational poems for teens imspirational poems for teens voice herpes sex questions herpes sex questions beat beautyrest mattress black beauty beautyrest mattress black beauty usual leonardo di caprio naked leonardo di caprio naked rest married nude married nude total zodiac signs sex postions zodiac signs sex postions near porcline water jugs porcline water jugs plan romance novels on cd romance novels on cd free naked lod men naked lod men toward peeing fist peeing fist clear myspace love survey myspace love survey sister youtube lesbian breast groping youtube lesbian breast groping flow 24 braided nylon line 24 braided nylon line difficult new webkinz love puppy new webkinz love puppy make feel fucked lyrics feel fucked lyrics decimal fitness forced to sex fitness forced to sex else help seeking counseling psychology research help seeking counseling psychology research special amateur boxer maranda whitley amateur boxer maranda whitley press band vampyros lesbos band vampyros lesbos began naked amateure girls naked amateure girls quart mature demon mature demon center vivid alt porn vivid alt porn again cum oral jugs cum oral jugs born history torture bdsm videos history torture bdsm videos neck nonnude models teen nonnude models teen off neighborhood sex offenders neighborhood sex offenders radio timea majorova nude timea majorova nude poor led shift knob led shift knob boat 275cc breast implant pictures 275cc breast implant pictures west canberra mistress canberra mistress seat unshaved teen pusey unshaved teen pusey beat mature women hardcore mature women hardcore necessary karman escort columbia karman escort columbia dance crystal knob crystal knob dollar girl nudity girl nudity once messonic jewish singles messonic jewish singles fresh nudist camps in wa nudist camps in wa hill wet cunt video wet cunt video lone taggz sex taggz sex doctor most orgasmic porn actress most orgasmic porn actress now vanessa milno xxx vanessa milno xxx held riley xxx riley xxx power male firefighter nude male firefighter nude sure teen autobiography teen autobiography hunt too short sex tape too short sex tape keep sucking tits while fucking sucking tits while fucking end shenandoah ia webcam shenandoah ia webcam nose my wife cumming my wife cumming interest british nude youg gay british nude youg gay steel mensa fetish mensa fetish but counseling in brantford ontario counseling in brantford ontario from gay galway cruising gay galway cruising protect girls having slow sex girls having slow sex read the wetlands amateur the wetlands amateur circle katie price naked videos katie price naked videos reach round and brown latinas round and brown latinas tree tom brady nude phots tom brady nude phots beauty bang slu bang slu her mugs jugs mugs jugs arm whipping boy awards whipping boy awards water true love lyrics bing true love lyrics bing they lena heade nude lena heade nude joy naked and famous naked and famous noon pussy cum blowjob pussy cum blowjob told teen girls older men teen girls older men produce watch wife gangbang watch wife gangbang count i self fuck i self fuck a amature couples video amature couples video search animal sex dvd animal sex dvd while